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3 adoption-related mistakes that prospective parents make

Adoption can be a beautiful way to start having children or to add more children to your family. However, some prospective adoptive parents make a few mistakes.

For example, they may not fully understand why they want to adopt. Similarly, they may be tempted to take liberties with some information. Awareness of these issues can help hopeful adoptive parents avoid them.

1. Not being able to explain why you want to adopt

Adoption sounds like a great concept, but if you have to explain exactly why you want to adopt, could you? Answers such as, “I’ve always wanted this,” or “I’m adopted myself,” can be good starts but are not sufficient. The reality is that adoption can be a long and time-consuming process. Knowing the reasons you want to adopt can help you get through the process and keep the end goal in sight.

2. Fudging your present and past to sound better

If you are hoping to adopt through an agency that matches birth mothers with adoptive parents, it can be tempting to make yourself sound as appealing as possible, both on your application and through the bio distributed to birth mothers. However, omitting or lying about issues like your sexuality, a DWI or an ongoing divorce can be a big mistake.

For one thing, background checks are likely to turn up convictions. By disclosing early, you get to control the message. For another thing, you have likely come through your struggles a better person. You can discuss what your divorce process has helped you realize about yourself and how you plan to be an excellent single parent. Likewise, many birth mothers do not care about or even prefer their children to go to a gay parent or couple.

3. Not enlisting expert help

Professionals such as attorneys can be invaluable resources at any stage of the adoption process. This is especially true if you want to pursue agency, independent or stepchild adoptions as opposed to foster care adoptions. An attorney can tell you exactly what you need to do and can advise you on whether past blemishes are obstacles that can be overcome.

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