Photo of Drew Wood

Revenge is an unhealthy focus in divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 15, 2018 | Divorce |

Florida couples headed for divorce court may be tempted to use litigation as a vehicle to punish their former spouse. The quest for revenge can make even an uncomplicated divorce cost many thousands of dollars. Acrimony surrounding a marital breakup may make vengeance seem attractive, but choosing to go there is generally a mistake that costs more than just money.

There are many reasons it is prudent to avoid giving into the temptation of seeking revenge, but the most compelling reasons for most people are the innocents involved. Children often get caught in the crossfire, and such damage can last long after divorce papers are signed. Any time a parent gets hurt emotionally or financially, the children also feel some impact. A child has a lifetime relationship with both parents; any effort to make either parent look bad could be perceived by children as an attack on them, which can lead to emotional insecurities as well as a backlash against the revenge-seeking parent.

Even when a party does decide to seek revenge, the outcome is often disappointing. Judges hear thousands of cases, and very few of them offer truly unique circumstances. Tribunals usually seek to find a way forward with the most equitable arrangement for everyone concerned and pay little attention to salacious details offered by angry litigants.

Parties focused on revenge are constantly looking backward and risk getting caught in an unhealthy loop when their future, and that of their children, demands a forward focus. Instead of extracting a pound of flesh, a healthier focus for all involved is establishing boundaries and dispute resolution guidelines for the post-divorce parenting partnership between them.

Deciding to get divorced can be a painful and confusing process. A confidential consultation with an experienced family law attorney may be able to provide guidance and insight regarding all possible options when considering marital dissolution.