No two divorces are exactly the same, and adult partners may cope differently. Both parties may be very upset, or the sadness may be one-sided. Whatever the situation is between former partners, circumstances become different when children are involved.
In general, children want their parents to stay together, and they love each parent dearly. Whatever has gone on between you and your former partner, it is important to keep this in mind. Divorce hits children in a different way than it does adults.
How can you tell if your child is struggling with the divorce? Is there anything you can do to relieve some of the strain?
How is their school life?
Children spend the majority of their days at school, and this is one of the best places to monitor their behavior. If you are comfortable, let the teaching staff know that there are some issues at home. They can keep an eye out and alert you of any warning signs as early as possible. If your child has typically been well-behaved but is now acting out in class, it could be a sign that they are struggling. If their grades have taken a turn for the worst, they may be finding it difficult to focus. These are issues that you can get help with, and the earlier you take action, the better.
Are they openly siding with one parent?
You’ve had a strong bond with your child for years, but now, they seem to have turned against you. They criticize everything you say or do and appear to regret having to spend time with you. Whether it’s inadvertent or deliberate, one parent should not turn the child against the other. This can cause lasting emotional damage for both the adult and child.
What can you do?
One thing that both parents can do is lead by example. Just because you are no longer involved romantically, that doesn’t mean you can’t be strong co-parents. Show that you are a united front in terms of the best interests of your child. If your co-parent is refusing to cooperate, it might be time to explore your legal options.