Parental alienation is defined as a phenomenon that usually occurs after a divorce, in which one parent tries to undermine the relationship between the child and their other parent. This behavior usually begins subtly, and often it is not identified until significant damage has been done to the relationship between parent and child.
Most courts today acknowledge the existence of parental alienation. However, it can be difficult to prove because of how it manifests. For example, a parent can speak negatively about the other parent to a third party in front of the child, which can indirectly result in the child wondering if the other parent is a “bad parent.”
Children usually absorb the behavior they see in their parents, and oftentimes, after a divorce, they are scared, confused and they fear standing up to the parent. In many cases, they believe the offending parent, even if they encourage the child to reject the other parent for no reason.
Identifying the signs of parental alienation is critical. If you see there behaviors in your child, you may want to talk to your attorney and seek assistance as soon as possible, because it may be much harder to reverse the situation as the child gets older.
Changing attitudes
If your child comes home from the other parent’s house and seems hostile toward you regularly, it may be a sign that parental alienation is taking place.
If your child rejects spending time with you, declines invitations to activities they would normally enjoy, you should look into the source of the problem.
If your child communicates with you that the other parent says negative things about them, you should definitely act to prevent further damage to your relationship with your child.
Preventing alienation
While it may not always be obvious, if you identify any changes in your child’s attitude toward you, their siblings, your family or any other changes when they are with you, there are some things you can do to prevent or mitigate the alienation. For example:
- Open communication with the other spouse. If the other parent is hesitant to communicate with you, it may be a sign that they are trying to alienate you.
- Contact your attorney to discuss filing a motion with the court to address the matter.
- Depending on your child’s age, speak with them about this phenomenon in an age-appropriate level, so they understand that parents are not perfect and they are not always right.
- Teach your child to think independently and to distinguish between right and wrong.
- Do not speak poorly of the other parent. Show your child that you support them having a relationship with their other parent, and deal with the alienation with your attorney and other professionals who can help.
It is important to educate yourself about what parental alienation looks like, because it can start out as very subtle but can result in disastrous circumstances. Sometimes, the offending parent succeeds and alienates the child completely from the other parent, to the point where the child does not want anything to do with that parent.
By making an intentional effort to identify these behaviors and addressing them, you are one step closer to solving or mitigating any attempts that the other parent is making to alienate you from your child. Remember to speak with your attorney and take this seriously– the consequences of this pervasive behavior can last a lifetime.
