Tips from veterans of military marriages
A recent survey looked at the common factors in military marriages that last. With so many ending in divorce, the researcher wanted to discover why some stayed the distance. It was based on civilian women married to military men. It did not consider any other form of relationship. Here are some of its findings:
- Career-minded means marriage-minded: Men who looked upon the military as a career for life, rather than a temporary job, were more likely to stay married.
- The wife defines what normal family life is: With the man away so much, it falls to the wife to make that routine, to define this is how home life works. If a man is unwilling to accept this, there is likely to be conflict every time he returns as two people fight over what they consider family life should be like.
- Routines enable the man to integrate into family life: The transition from the field to home can take some getting used to. By allowing their husband to do things such as take the kids to school, take out the garbage, cook on a Thursday, the wives allow their husbands an entry point back into the family. It lets him feel he has an important role to play, even if the wife manages it all on her own when he is away.
If you are considering a military divorce, see if any of these points could help save your marriage. If not, then seek legal help to understand the legal options available to you.